


Word I Can’t Say

by ghostdawg09



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:26:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27877578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostdawg09/pseuds/ghostdawg09
Summary: Emily goes to camp hopeful to talk to her best friend
Relationships: Lindsey Horan/Emily Sonnett
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

Emily was so happy that she was finally going to get to see her friends. When the camp roster came out and most of her favorite people were on it she was ecstatic. She felt like it had been forever since she had seen most of them. She was especially excited, (and a little nervous) to see one person particular, Lindsey. Emily now knew that the saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is completely true. Since being away from Lindsey her feelings for the girl had only grown. She was hopeful that maybe they could find some time to talk at camp. She knew this was her chance since Lindsey was now single. So needless to say, Emily was super excited for camp.

Then the news came… Lindsey wouldn’t be there because she has tested positive for Covid. Emily found out on Twitter just like most people. Lindsey didn’t even call her to tell her. Once getting to camp, Emily saw Tobin making a beeline for her.

“Hey Son”

“Hey Tobin,” Emily said sadly.

“Cheer up kiddo. I have a message for you,” Tobin smiled softly at Emily.

Emily’s head shot up as she looked at her lanky former teammate, “What kind of message?”

The forward just grinned before replying, “The kind I think you will want to hear” before handing her a letter and walking away.

Emily looked down at the envelope in her hands and was shocked to see her name in Lindsey’s handwriting. Several questions were running through her mind now. How did this letter get here? What did Lindsey want to say in a letter that she couldn’t say over the phone or even FaceTime. Emily decided that when she made it to her room she would open the letter to see what was in store for her.

After she had entered her room and put her stuff down Emily sat on the bed and opened the letter. There she found a handwritten note from her best friend.

_Dear Dasani,_

_I’m so sorry I’m not able to be at camp with you right now. I was so looking forward to it. I really miss you. I have even been getting up early just to watch your games. This is the longest we have been apart since going the Thorns together and I really don’t like it._

_However, the time apart has also made me realize some things. I have realized just how much I miss our coffee dates. I have realized how much I miss our Netflix marathons (even though you always tried to put your cold feet on me). I miss you being at practice with me everyday. I miss hearing your voice encouraging me on the field. I miss the way we would cuddle in close together on the cold, lazy mornings after a sleepover. I miss the way you were always there to comfort me when someone would upset me. The way your arms felt wrapped around me as you whispered in my ear reassurance that I was good enough no matter what anyone else said._

_Most of all though, I just miss you. The way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way you laugh out loud at something you found funny, and just the way you made me feel whenever you were around. So even though I hate the distance and the time apart, it has made me realize something- I don’t want to lose you. Emily Ann Sonnett, I love you. I’m in love with you. I have had these feelings for awhile but I kept running from them. I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you in person. I had planned to talk to you at camp or after but then I tested positive._

_So, I really hope I haven’t ruined things by telling you these things. If you feel the same way then you can call me. If you don’t feel the same way, then I hope we can still be friends. I just couldn’t go another day without telling you how I feel. I convinced Sophia to take a letter with her for Tobin so that Tobin could give this to you. Tobin is the only one who knows about my feelings for you. I hope to hear from you soon Em. I love you._

_Lindsey_

Emily couldn’t believe what she had just read. She felt something warm and wet on her face and reached up to find tears leaking from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and started to read the letter again because she couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to have someone like Lindsey love her back. She heard a knock at the door and thought about ignoring it but then she heard Kelley’s voice through the door, “Sonnett, let me in!” The blonde got up to let her friend in the room because there was no way Kelley would stop until she did.

“Are you okay Son?” The older defender questioned. “Have you talked to Lindsey? Is she okay?”

“Slow down Kel,” Emily told her friend, “I’m okay I guess. I haven’t talked to her but I did get this from her.”

The younger girl handed her friend the letter. Kelley was the one that Emily had talked to about her feelings. Every time Lindsey would go back to Russell, Emily would call Kelley and talk about her feelings for her best friend. Kelley has been her shoulder to cry on many times. The blonde watched her friend as she read the words on the paper. After she finished reading the letter Kelley handed it back to Emily with wide eyes.

“Wow” the brunette trailed off.

“Yeah…” replied the younger girl, “like I’m so happy right now but I can’t believe she actually feels the same way about me that I feel about her.”

“She would be crazy not to Em. I have told you this. You’re a catch!” Kelley grinned at her friend. “I’m going to get out of your hair so you can call her. Let me know if you need anything.”

Emily took a deep breath and sat down on the bed and pulled up Lindsey’s contact and stared at it for a minute before pressing the call button. As she waited for Lindsey to pick up Emily thought about what she was going to say. The phone just kept ringing though and the message that Lindsey was unavailable came through. “That’s weird” Emily thought. “Oh well, maybe she is sleeping.”

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Emily opened it to find Tobin standing there. “Hey Emily… Can I come in?” Emily stepped back to let Tobin in the room as the older girl sat down on edge of the bed.

“Come over here Son,” said Tobin as she patted the space beside her.

Emily could tell something was up but she listened to her former club teammate anyway. Tobin took a deep breath before saying, “I just got a call from Mike. Lindsey started feeling worse so the doctor had her admitted to the hospital. He said that she is okay though but is sleeping a lot.”

Emily couldn’t make sense of Tobin’s words after hearing that her best friend was now in a hospital bed. She sat there staring at the wall in front of her in shock. She could feel her eyes tearing up and soon she felt Tobin wrapping her arms around her.

“Em, she is okay. I promise. Mike just called as a precaution to let us know and so hopefully we wouldn’t worry as much,” Tobin tried her best to comfort the defender.

Finally Emily calmed down and caught her breath and looked at Tobin, “She finally told me how she feels and now this happened… What if it’s too late? What if I never get to tell her I feel the same way? Or how much I love her dimples when she smiles? Or-“ Tobin cut her off, “Em, you can’t think like that. Lindsey is going to be fine. She is strong and will beat this. Also, trust when I say that she knows how you feel about her. She may not have wanted to acknowledge it but she knew. It’s kind of hard to hide the love in your eyes when you look at her.”

Emily blushed a little and ducked her head before looking up at Tobin, “Thanks Tobs. Do you really think we can make this work?”

“Yeah, I do. You guys just go together. There may be some hard times but you guys can work your way through them. I know you and Linds can make it through anything life throws your way because you really love each other.”

“Thanks Tobin. Did she tell you she wrote me a letter?”

“Yeah. She told me that she wrote a letter for you and asked me to give it to you. I wasn’t sure what the letter said until you said she told you how she feels.”

“Yeah in the letter she said that you were the only one who knew about her feelings for me.”

“She has always loved you Emily. It just took her awhile to figure out exactly what that meant. Be patient with her but I’m glad she finally told you,” Tobin said as she pulled Emily into a hug.

After Tobin left to go back to her room Emily picked up her phone to send a text to Lindsey. If Lindsey couldn’t talk right now then that’s okay but Emily knew that she had to tell her at least one thing. She pulled up the messages app and opened the thread between her and Lindsey.

_Hey Linds,_

_So I got the most amazing letter at camp today. I wish I could talk to you about it face to face but since that’s not possible right now then text messaging will have to do because I can’t go a minute longer without telling you that I love you. So I need you to get better so I can take you on a date like you deserve because you deserve the world. I love you Lindsey Michelle Horan. I can’t wait to be able to see and tell you these things in person_

_❤️ Emily_


	2. Chapter 2

Today was the team’s game against the Netherlands. Emily still hasn’t been able to talk to Lindsey. She had talked to Mike a few times though. The doctor had Lindsey on a whole bunch of medications and she was kind of out of it most of the time. Emily wanted more than anything to be with her though. So she had talked with the team representative and gotten her return flight changed to Denver. She hasn’t told anyone but Kelley and Tobin. She wanted to keep their “relationship” on the down low until she could talk to Lindsey.

The game started out a little sloppy but honestly that was to be expected after being off for so long. Vlatko’s game plan called for a lot of heavy pressure on the Netherlands team and the U.S. players were excelling in that area. Emily got to check in during the second half. She felt so good to be playing with her people again. Getting to see Alex back on the field was so amazing. Kristie’s goal was nothing short of awesome. All in all, the game went really well for everyone.

After the game, Emily checked her phone and saw a message from Mike telling her that Lindsey seemed to be doing better. She messaged him back and let him know that he may see her sooner rather than later. After showering and having a post game team meeting, everyone got ready to head to the airport. Emily was flying into Atlanta along with Kelley and then catching a connecting flight to Denver. Throughout the flight Emily couldn’t stop her leg from bouncing nervously. Kelley finally laid her hand atop the blonde’s knee in an attempt to calm her.

“Sonnett, please stop freaking out. Everything is going to be fine. Mike said she is improving and now you know how she feels about you. You guys are perfect for each other.”

“Thanks Kel. I’m just worried about her. I want to be there with her so badly. I love her.

“I know Son, I know”

After what seemed like an eternity to Sonnett, the two athletes deplaned in Atlanta. Before going their separate ways, Kelley pulled Emily into a tight hug and whispered, “You got this. Go get your girl! Call me if you need me.”

“Thanks Kelley.”

Emily got off the plane in Denver and made her way outside to the pickup line where she found Mike Horan waiting for her.

“Thanks for picking me up dude.”

“No problem Emily. It’s good to see you.”

As they were in the car heading towards Lindsey’s apartment, Mike looked over at the blonde, “So are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and my sister? Are you finally going to make a move now that she wised up and dumped the shit head?”

Sonnett couldn’t help but laugh at Mike’s description of Russell. Seriously, no one has liked him. “Well… I know how I feel about her but I would rather talk to her first before putting a label on anything.”

“Okay, okay… just be careful with her?”

“I will Mike. I promise you I will.”

Not too long later they pulled up in front of Lindsey’s apartment complex. Emily opened her door to get out and gave Mike a funny look when he didn’t make a move to exit the car.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“Nah. We figured we would clear out and let you guys have some time together. She will be in good hands. I’m just here to drop you off and pick my mom up. Lindsey doesn’t know you are here.”

Emily just gaped at him in surprise and then felt a hand in her shoulder. She turned around to find Lindsey’s mom behind her smiling at her warmly.

“Hi Emily. It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s good to see too. I just wish it wasn’t under the circumstances of Lindsey being sick.”

“I know dear. She is doing better though. Mostly sleeping still but she seems to be getting some energy back.”

“That’s good. Are you sure you guys want to leave? I don’t want to intrude.”

“Oh sweet Emily, you aren’t intruding in the slightest. Lindsey is going to be so happy to see you. You will take just as good care of her as we would if not better. Call if you need anything though.”

After Linda hugged her again she got into the car with Mike and they left the complex. Emily turned to face the building and walked inside. Once she got to Lindsey’s apartment door she took a deep breath before using the key that Linda had given her to unlock the door. Walking into the apartment she saw Ferguson’s bed in the corner of the living room and she could tell Lindsey’s mom had been here because everything was neatly folded and put away. Emily went on down the hallway and saw that Lindsey’s bedroom door was slightly open. She eased it open to find the blonde sleeping with Ferguson tucked in around her ankles. The dog saw Emily and ran towards her so she picked him up and gave him a good belly rub before making her way back to the kitchen with Ferguson following along behind her.

Lindsey’s mom has told her that the doctor said Lindsey shouldn’t be contagious anymore so at least there was that. Emily looked around the kitchen to see if she could find the stuff to make some homemade chicken noodle soup that Lindsey loved. Emily could remember the first time she had made the soup in Portland and Lindsey was over. Lindsey has loved it so from then on whenever it was cold or Lindsey didn’t feel well, Emily would make her the soup. Surprised but pleased to find what she needed, the blonde got to work making the soup. A little while later the soup was simmering and Emily was curled up on the couch with the dog. She heard Lindsey’s bedroom door open and heard her slowly shuffling down the hallway.

“Mom?? What smells so good?” The blonde’s raspy voice called out.

As Lindsey rounded the corner she stopped cold at the sight of Emily sitting on the couch with Ferguson. “Emily??”

“Surprise”

“Are you really here or am I dreaming again?”

“Nope, you’re not dreaming. I’m really here.”

The taller blonde shuffled hurriedly over and threw herself into the defender’s waiting arms. The relief that they both felt from being together again was palpable. Emily led Lindsey to the couch to sit down and cuddled the taller girl into her chest.

“I can’t believe you’re here. How are you here? Why are you here?”

“Well… as for how I got here, I flew on a plane and Mike picked me up at the airport. The answer for why I’m here is because someone wrote me this amazing letter.”

“You read it?”

“Of course I did. I sent you a message in reply but I think you were still pretty out of it then.”

Lindsey pulled her phone from her pocket and pulled up the messages app. Scrolling back through, she found the message Emily had sent her. As she read the message, Lindsey could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. “You feel the same? You really love me?”

“Of course I do Lindsey. I have loved you for so long but I never thought you would feel the same way about me. I love you so much!”

As the words came out of Emily’s mouth, Lindsey closed the gap between then and pressed her lips to the smaller blonde’s. Emily immediately responded and cupped her cheeks and pulled her in closer. After a few seconds they broke apart.

“I probably shouldn’t be kissing you right now…”

“The doctor said you are fine. Besides I’m willing to risk it to be with you.”

Lindsey shuffled back into Emily’s chest before sitting up again and sniffing the air. “Do I smell your soup?”

“Yeah. I figured you may want some soup and since this is one of your favorites I decided to cook it for you.

“Emily Ann Sonnett, you are the absolute best and I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’m so happy that I can say those words now.”


End file.
